The Whitman Sessions
by DrQuinnGeekery
Summary: The idea for this series of stories came to me after watching The Library. At the end of that episode, Michaela agrees to allow Sully to share more of Walt Whitman's poetry with her. My thought is that the poetry would have been a catalyst for them to discuss sex and become more comfortable with each other, which is why I think Sully was interested in sharing with her.


The idea for this series of stories came to me after watching The Library. At the end of that episode, Michaela agrees to allow Sully to share more of Walt Whitman's poetry with her. My thought is that the poetry would have been a catalyst for them to discuss sex and become more comfortable with each other, which is why I think Sully was interested in sharing with her. Beware, this version of Michaela and Sully are going to mess around a bit before marriage, but I've tried to keep them in character.

Chapter 1: A Woman Waits for Me

This first story takes place between the events of A Washington Affair and Money Trouble.

"Without shame the man I like knows and avows the deliciousness of his sex, Without shame the woman I like knows and avows hers." Sully's soft voice tickled Michaela's neck as they sat side by side on the front porch of her homestead. Brian and Colleen had gone to bed, and Matthew had stayed in town for the night. This was their time to spend together in relative privacy - no innocent ears, no prying eyes - just a sleeping Wolf at their feet and the stars above their heads.

The first night Sully had read Walt Whitman's poetry to Michaela, she'd been shocked to find the words so raw and explicit. The reading abruptly ended when Michaela literally jumped out of her seat. Her ears had burned with embarrassment and her eyes welled with the fear she looked foolish. Sully seemed so comfortable to speak plainly of sexual things in her presence. Michaela had been anything but comfortable. She'd felt flush and sweaty despite the cool weather.

After they'd discussed it further, she'd agreed to give it another chance. She could tell Sully was eager to share this with her, and she hoped it would help assuage some of her fears about what happens between a man and woman in bed, or out of bed based on some of Whitman's poetry. She wanted to have the same open mindedness about this subject that she had for other aspects of her life, it just didn't seem to come as easily.

This night, Michaela snuggled closer into Sully's side. She pulled the soft quilt draped across their lap up higher to protect them against the chilled air.

"Now I will dismiss myself from impassive women, I will go stay with her who waits for me, and with those women that are warm-blooded and sufficient for me, I see that they understand me and do not deny me, I see that they are worthy of me, I will be the robust husband of those women."

Michaela tensed at this passage.

"Ya alright?" Sully inquired.

"Sounds like he doesn't want a wife, he wants one of Hank's girls." Michaela replied with injust.

"I don't think that's what he means."

"No?" Michaela looked up at him defensively. She pointed down at the page where Sully had just been reading. "I will dismiss myself from impassive women … her who waits for me … warm-blooded and sufficient … do not deny me. It sounds like if she is anything but eager he doesn't want her."

"I think he just means that he wants a woman who will be open to showin' her love that way. Not be embarrassed or ashamed. He wants her to enjoy givin' and receivin' pleasure." Sully absently rubbed his thumb up and down the edges of the book's worn pages.

"Is that what you want?" Michaela sat up straighter in her chair and pulled out of Sully's arms.

"I think that's what all men want." He caressed her shoulder.

"Not all women are wired like that, Sully. Proper women aren't going to act that way. I understand as a man you have needs, but for women sex is for procreation. I just..." Michaela looked down at her lap. "It's getting late. I should get inside."

"Michaela, no. Let's talk about it. That really what you think? That you have to do it just to please me?" Sully shifted in his seat enough for Wolf to give a lazy glance up before resting his head down again.

"I don't know…" Michaela was quiet for a moment before she continued. "What about what she is feeling, Sully? He has no inclination to want to help her or take time for her."

"I think he's plenty willing to take his time, to make her feel comfortable, to make sure her pleasure is taken care of, I think it's only if she isn't willing to be open to receivin' his efforts."

Michaela wondered if Sully was still talking about the "He" in the poem, or himself. She had also gotten stuck around the words "her pleasure." Michaela knew it was possible for a woman to feel pleasure, but the reality of it happening during relations with one's husband didn't seem like a common occurrence based on stories she had heard.

"Sully, may I ask you a question?"

"'Course, anything."

"Well, it's a question I've asked you before, but you didn't give me an answer."

"What is it?" Sully closed the book and set it on the small table next to him.

"How many women have you been with? Not just since Abigail. How many women in all?"

Sully exhaled and Michaela felt all his hope for this evening leave his body with the breath.

"Are you askin' because you want to know, or because you're lookin' for another reason to question if we are right for each other?"

"I'm asking because we're going to be husband and wife. You're the one that said we shouldn't keep secrets from each other. You know how many men I have been with. It's only fair."

"Ya haven't been with anyone!"

"Correct, your turn." She lifted her chin.

"I'll tell you, but ya have to promise that you won't pull away from me."

"Sully, you're scaring me."

"Five. Five women, Michaela. Two before Abigail and two since."

Michaela moved from facing him to staring straight ahead in her chair. "I see," she said in a soft voice. She hadn't expected that number. Two since Abigail. Were they both since she had known him?

She was about to ask when Sully spoke again.

"No one since I realized I had feelings for you."

She exhaled. She still felt stunned, but it was a small comfort. "Will you tell me about them?"

Sully made a small noise of protest before he gave in and sighed. Michaela knew the look on his face well. It was the look of a man who knew his woman wouldn't back down. "My first time was when I was fourteen. She was about ten years older."

"Fourteen. That's only a few years older than Brian, younger than Matthew!" Michaela was astonished.

"I know. But I didn't have a Ma to set me straight. I was makin' my own decisions. And when you're a young man, and a woman offers you that, it's hard to refuse."

"You were a boy." Michaela reached out for his hand.

"I had been livin' on my own for four years by then. I was as much a man as any 20-year-old." Sully looked Michaela in the eyes. "Anyway, I loved her, or at least I thought I did. She taught me things … that it ain't just about the man's pleasure. She taught me what it was to be with a woman."

"I see." Michaela was filled with several emotions - jealousy, hurt, but also arousal. She wasn't sure exactly what to expect once they were husband and wife, but she flushed at the idea that Sully would know how to give her pleasure if she would let him.

"After she ended it, I felt sorry for myself for a while … until I met someone on the ride out here. She continued on to California so it wasn't serious." Sully shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "When I first moved out here, I was too busy workin'. Then I met Abigail."

They were both quiet for a moment. Michaela didn't like to think too long about what Sully had shared with Abigail. It was more than just his body with her. He had loved her — made a baby with her. If Abigail hadn't died, Michaela knew that she and Sully would only have a friendship. Even if he would have felt attracted to her, Abigail would've still had his heart and complete fidelity. Michaela wouldn't love him as much as she did now if she thought anything less.

"And after?" She asked.

Sully sighed. "After Abigail ... I was lost. I enlisted. As you know, I deserted," he paused before adding, "it was the first and only time I was with a prostitute."

Michaela was silent. She had the answer to a question she'd wondered for a while. She knew Sully had never procured the company of any of the women in the Saloon. She knew this mainly because she'd overheard the girls express their displeasure at having never had the opportunity to entertain him. But still, she had wondered if he had ever had the temptation. Now she had her answer.

There was still one woman left.

Sully continued. "Since comin' back to Colorado Springs, there's been one woman. A Cheyenne."

"Cheyenne? Were you courting her?"

"No. The Cheyenne don't have the same views on sexuality. If a woman sees a man she would like to spend time with, she is free to do so without shame."

"And you accepted the invitation?"

Michaela could see sadness in his eyes, though she could tell he was trying hard to not allow her to make him feel ashamed.

"I did." Sully nodded.

Michaela stared straight ahead. Two tears slipped down her face. Her thoughts were jumbled in her head and she felt clammy in her clothes. Part of her knew it was unreasonable to be upset with him over women he was with before he started courting her, but the other part of her was hurt that he had shared that part of himself with a woman in recent past. Too recent.

A thought struck Michaela and she looked at Sully with wide eyes. "Have I met her?"

Sully looked down at his hands. "Yes."

A pit formed in Michaela's stomach. "Who is she?"

"You like each other very much. It will change the way you think of her and that ain't fair to either of you." Sully refused.

"She's seen us together at the reservation. She's seen us together and all the while known that I had no idea. I'm so embarrassed."

"Michaela, I swear to you I ain't been with a women since I realized I had feelin's for you."

"When? Since Boston?"

Michaela stood up, their shared quilt slipped to the floor next to Wolf as she went to the porch's railing. "We had known each other for a year at that point, Sully. You'd kissed me! You said you weren't ready for more, but what you meant was you weren't ready to wait for a *virgin*." The word came out in a hushed tone and she glanced towards the house.

Sully stood up to follow her, almost tripping on the blanket in the process. "Michaela, stop it. You're making things up in your head. It was before that. It was before our first Christmas."

"The first Christmas?"

"Yes. After that evening I knew I couldn't be with another woman feelin' the way I did about you."

Michaela looked up at him. She was relieved to know it hadn't been as recent as she originally thought, but she still couldn't shake the pit in her stomach. "She probably wanted you to court her, Sully."

"She didn't. She didn't want me that way. And she knew I was never an option because I couldn't join the Cheyenne permanently and that was the only way marriage would be possible."

Michaela's mind still bounced to the pretty faces she'd seen on the reservation. She'd met so many young and beautiful women. It could be any one of them. "I feel so foolish."

"It had nothin' to do with you."

That was not the right response.

"Nothing to do with me? I thought … I thought you considered what happens between a man and woman in bed to be special. I thought it meant more to you. But you're just as ruled by the appendage between your legs as every other man in town!"

"That ain't true, Michaela, and it ain't fair for you to say. I do believe it is special. And when we share a bed it will be the most special. We will be sharin' our love for each other." Sully sighed. "I was lonely, Michaela. It feels good. And it feels good to hold a woman and be held. I have been weak, but never have I thought it ain't special."

"She's touched you. She's seen you..." Michaela inhaled shakily, cutting off her sentence.

"I can't change that. But Michaela, I've never brushed her hair, or taken care of her children. I want you to be the last woman who ever sees me and touches me." Sully paused and moved to wrap his arms around her.

Michaela's resolve softened, but she wasn't ready to let it go. "I'm not going to be able to go back to the reservation without wondering who she is."

"I know. I will tell you right now if you really want, but I beg you to wait until after we're married. After you are both on even ground, so to speak." Sully smiled. "I think after you see how it will be between us you will feel more confident she could never compete with what we have."

Michaela nodded and sniffed.

"I can't wait to marry you, Michaela." Sully kissed her forehead. "I can't wait to be in our new homestead." Sully kissed her nose. "I can't have our own private room." Sully kissed her lips. "I'll make the walls extra thick."

"Sully!" Michaela pulled out of his embrace to admonish his bawdy comment, but she giggled despite herself.

Sully pulled her tight to him again. "I can't wait to share everything with you, Michaela."

"I want that too." She rested her head on his chest.

"It's late, I should get goin'." Sully turned around and picked up the book of Walt Whitman's poetry before coming back to face her again. "Can we do this again soon?"

"Yes. I'd like that."

"Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too, Sully. So much."

He kissed her lips one more time before he stepped down off the porch and into the darkness.

Chapter 2: Song of Myself Section 11 - takes place in-between Money Trouble and Thanksgiving

_You sea! I resign myself to you also—I guess what you mean, _

_I behold from the beach your crooked inviting fingers, _

_I believe you refuse to go back without feeling of me, _

_We must have a turn together, I undress, hurry me out of sight of the land, _

_Cushion me soft, rock me in billowy drowse, _

_Dash me with amorous wet, I can repay you. _

_Sea of stretch'd ground-swells, _

_Sea breathing broad and convulsive breaths, _

_Sea of the brine of life and of unshovell'd yet always-ready graves, _

_Howler and scooper of storms, capricious and dainty sea, _

_I am integral with you, I too am of one phase and of all phases. _

Sully paused, "This was the first poem I read to you."

Once again Michaela was tucked into Sully's side on the front porch of her homestead. Earlier that day, Sully had agreed to continue working on their new home with their combined funds. In a few months they would be able to have these conversations on their new front porch, or their private bedroom.

"I remember." Michaela cheeks flushed with embarrassment over how caught off guard she had been.

"What's your opinion about it tonight?" Sully closed the book in his lap.

"Partly the same, partly different."

"What's different 'bout it?"

"Well, it's still shocking to read those words, but it's also … stimulating. I feel more comfortable admitting that now."

"Good." Sully said succinctly, and kissed Michaela on her forehead. "That's what I've been hopin' for. Is that helpin' you be less frightened?"

"I'm not frightened." Michaela bristled. "I'm just not sure what to expect."

They were quiet for a moment until Sully looked back down at the book.

"'Dash me with amorous wet, I can repay you.' What do you think he means?" He looked at Michaela.

"I think he's just ... you know," Michaela looked down at her hands to avoid eye contact, "joined with her."

Sully leaned over and said with a hushed tone, "Maybe she's reached her end. It feels different after it's happened … better."

"Oh." Michaela didn't know how comfortable she was with Sully sharing his experiences with other women, but it was incredibly arousing to hear him say those words.

If that was in his experience, she felt anxious about what his expectations would be. Michaela was quiet for a moment before continuing. "But a man can still enjoy his finish? Without … that?"

"'Course, but it's a lot more fun if both of us enjoy it." He kissed Michaela right below her ear.

Would she enjoy it? Michaela didn't think that was very likely, but she didn't want to disappoint him. She figured she should tell him, though, so he didn't have the expectation after they were married.

"I just don't think all women are like that, Sully. I don't want you to be disappointed because I don't think it will happen for me."

"How come? There something wrong?"

Michaela was getting frustrated that Sully didn't seem to understand what she was trying to say.

"No, not that I know of, but my mother and sisters have never described such a thing happening to them with their husbands, so I think it may not happen for women who were raised a certain way."

"Women who were raised a certain way may just not admit to it." Sully squinted slightly and inspected her face, "Michaela, have you never experienced a-?"

"Of course not." Michaela looked away.

"Well, I don't think it has anything to do with your upbringin', it's just the way your body works. If you have all the necessary parts it should happen."

"I really don't see how, Sully." Michaela wanted to explain, but she couldn't imagine where to even begin. They had gotten much closer than she'd imagined they would before marriage, but this was too personal.

"Trust me." Sully pulled her into his side and held her.

They were quiet for a while, enjoying the soft sounds of wind through the trees, crickets chirping, and Wolf lightly snoring.

Michaela couldn't get the idea out of her mind.

"What is it like?"

"What is what like?"

"Joining. I mean I know how it works, but is it fast or slow? How long does it take?" Michaela surprised even herself with her forwardness, but she was so curious to know.

Sully huffed out a laugh, "Well, the first time won't take long at all, I'm guessin'."

Michaela gave him a questioning look.

"I mean," Sully blushed. "I'm going to be very excited to be with you. But I promise it won't always be like that."

"I don't know… I don't think I'll mind if it's fast."

"After the first couple of times you will. It's nothing to be afraid of. I think you'll like it. As far as how fast or slow, that depends. Sometimes we'll want it slow, it's kind of rhythmic, like a slow ride on a horse … or we'll want it fast, like racing.

Michaela stiffened at Sully's reference.

"Why you frettin'? We'll go slow at first."

"No, it's not that," she paused, "I lied to you before."

"I know you did." Sully gave a slight laugh.

"I'm embarrassed."

"Don't be. You can tell me anything … anything at all."

"I've never touched," the word 'touched' was hushed, "myself with that intent, but it has happened a few times, on accident, in a way."

"How?" His tone indicated that he was genuinely curious.

"Well, the first couple of times it happened while I was sleeping. I'd have a dream and then… well, it would wake me up, but I never really could tell for sure if it was real or just a dream."

"Then?" Sully looked like he was hanging on her every word.

"Then after I moved here and learned how to ride…" Michaela felt a flush of embarrassment from the tops of her ears to the tips of her toes. She covered her face with her hands.

Sully leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want."

"It happened while I was riding Flash home one evening." The words came out in a rush. She looked up at him.

Sully had an unreadable look on his face.

"She's much faster than Bear had been. At first, I just thought it felt … pleasant, but then it got more intense, and before I really realized what was happening … it happened."

He looked shocked and a little flush.

"Well," she continued, "that time I was awake so I knew that it must have been real." She looked at him. "Sully, are you going to say anything?"

"Michaela, that's the most arousing thing anyone has ever told me."

"Stop it!" She swatted him on the arm.

"I'm serious." He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Come 'ere." He gathered her into his arms and kissed her, his hand gently cupping her face.

"Has it happened since then?" He asked when they broke the kiss.

"Just a couple of times." She confessed.

Suddenly Sully's expression changed as if he had just thought of something. "That why you wanted to race Flash so bad?"

"Sully! No!" Michaela pushed away from him and covered her face. "Don't embarrass me." She couldn't help but giggle.

"I'm sorry. I'm teasin'. I'm sorry." He grinned widely at his joke and gathered her back into his arms.

"Come here. Sit in my lap. Let me show you what lovin' feels like."

"Sully!" Michaela exclaimed.

"Just the rhythm. We have all our clothes on."

Michaela settled more fully into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Do you want to stay side saddle, or straddle me?" Sully winked as he asked.

"Like this." Michaela gave Sully a stern look, but pinched his bicep to show she wasn't really upset.

Sully gripped her thighs and pulled her tighter to him. He slowly started to grind his hips into the side of her buttock at a slow and steady pace. Michaela gasped and then exhaled slowly.

"I'll slide in and out. Like this." His voice was quiet and low, just below her ear. "We'll be lying down though, and I'll be on top."

"It's slower than I thought."

"Well, we'll start slow. Then I'll speed up a little bit." He increased his pace just enough to bring her face closer to his on every pull inward.

He captured her lips and bit gently on her bottom one. "We may want to kiss durin'." The words tickled her lips. When he kissed her again, his tongue slipped against hers.

"Mmmm. I definitely want to kiss during." She pulled away just enough to speak, their breath intermingled. Sully tasted like the cinnamon tea she had made for them after dinner.

"And I'll look in your eyes so you can see how much I love you."

"I love you." They kissed again.

"I'll kiss your neck, your earlobes, your breasts." Sully kissed down the side of Michaela's neck. Little shivers went through her spine and her nipples tightened.

"Then when it gets to the end," he continued, "It'll be the most pleasure you ever felt - even better than when it's happened before."

"I want to feel that with you, I just…"

"Tell me."

"The few times it's … happened, it's been sparked by sensations on the outside ... not inside." Michaela couldn't think of a better way to say it.

"Mmm hmmm." Sully nuzzled her neck and said softly into her ear. "Your pearl. I'll touch it ... or kiss it."

Michaela sucked in a breath. "Kiss it?" She sat up straighter. She thought about how warm and wet Sully's tongue felt against her own and then imagined how it would feel against that aching spot.

"Remember I said some things you gotta learn by doin'?"

"There's nothing in my medical journals about that. I can't even find anywhere that references how women experience pleasure." Her cheeks warmed at the admission she had searched.

"There's a spot inside of you too. We'll find it together." Sully continued to kiss her neck while gripping her hips to his. "And, I was just teasin' you earlier about straddlin' me, but it is a way we can try. You on top. It'll help you feel what you've felt there before."

"Not the first time." Michaela said quickly.

"No, not the first time." Sully smiled. "Once you've got the hang of it."

The hang of it. Would she get the hang of it? Michaela wondered.

Sully pulled her hips against his again and exhaled into her neck. "Can we do this a little more?"

Michaela peeked into the cabin through the open window. All was quiet inside.

"Just a little bit more." Michaela smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

Sully continued his slow rhythm into her side while cupping her face and kissing her. Michaela had never been kissed like this before. Their tongues teased and played with each other, each gentle flick sending a warm spread of heat between her thighs.

She explored his arms and chest. He was solid and broad, yet soft and warm in her under her hands. He smelled fresh and Michaela wondered if he had taken a dip in the creek before heading over to dinner that night.

He was moaning softly against her lips with every push of his hips. Her skirts were thick, but she focused her attention to where their bodies were pressed against each other to see if she could feel that he was aroused. Whether or not she could feel the evidence, she was quite sure he was.

Sully pulled back from their kiss. "I'm going to embarrass myself if we don't stop now."

Michaela was intrigued. "Could you? From just this?"

Sully smiled. "Tonight, I could." He licked his lips before he continued, "I love you, Michaela, first and foremost, and I can't wait to be your husband, but I also really want to take you to bed. I have since the moment I met you. So yeah, I could, just from this."

They both gave shy smiles. "It's getting late." Michaela said.

"Yeah." Sully nodded.

"We didn't finish the poem." Michaela pointed to the book now resting on the side table.

"We seem to always get distracted." He smiled.

"I like these talks. I feel closer to you."

"Me too. I want to be the one person you feel comfortable enough to tell all your secrets to."

Michaela nodded, her vision blurring a bit with the beginning of tears.

Sully gently nudged Michaela off his lap and stood, readjusting his clothing.

"Would you like to join us for breakfast?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Good night, Sully."

"Good night."

****Chapter 3: Song of Myself Section 22  
This chapter takes place in-between Pike's Peace and Cooper vs Quinn

_Twenty-eight young men bathe by the shore,  
Twenty-eight young men and all so friendly;  
Twenty-eight years of womanly life and all so lonesome._

_She owns the fine house by the rise of the bank,  
She hides handsome and richly drest aft the blinds of the window._

_Which of the young men does she like the best?  
Ah the homeliest of them is beautiful to her._

_Where are you off to, lady? for I see you,  
You splash in the water there, yet stay stock still in your room._

_Dancing and laughing along the beach came the twenty-ninth bather,  
The rest did not see her, but she saw them and loved them._

_The beards of the young men glisten'd with wet, it ran from their long hair,  
Little streams pass'd all over their bodies._

_An unseen hand also pass'd over their bodies,  
It descended tremblingly from their temples and ribs._

_The young men float on their backs, their white bellies bulge to the sun, they do not ask who seizes fast to them,  
They do not know who puffs and declines with pendant and bending arch,  
They do not think whom they souse with spray._

Sully closed the cover of the book and set it in his lap. "Whad'ya think?"

They were again seated on Michaela's front porch with a small oil lamp for light and a dozing Wolf near their feet. The children had gone to bed and Michaela and Sully had taken this time to read some more of Walt Whitman's poetry. Sully's arm was draped over Michaela's shoulders as he cuddled her to him.

"She's was curious to see a man. She never had." She looked up at Sully.

"Do you think she like what she saw?"

"I do. Very much." Michaela looked away.

"I know we've talked a bit about this before, but are you curious about me?"

"I've seen men before ... you've seen plenty of women," Michaela emphasized the word plenty in a playful way to show Sully she was feeling better about their previous talk about his past, "are you curious about me?"

"Michaela, I've wondered about what every inch of your body looks like. I've spent entire evenings daydreamin' about every curve and valley, what you feel like, smell like…" Sully trailed off.

Michaela's heart skipped a beat at Sully's confession and her cheeks flushed. Entire evenings?

Sully continued, "But you didn't answer my question. Are ya curious 'bout me?"

"Well, I've seen you naked." Michaela lifted her chin and looked directly at him. She said the statement with hopes to shock him.

"What?" The look on his face told her she had, indeed. "When?"

"When we cared for you after you were beaten by Rankin. I had to check you for injuries, and while you were still unconscious I had to bathe you and keep you comfortable."

"And ya peeked?"

"It wasn't peeking, exactly. I respected your privacy, but I had to look to some extent as your doctor."

"And that was it? You looked as my doctor?"

"Well, honestly Sully I was so worried about you at the time, but I may have looked at you as more than just a patient - looked and wondered."

They were both silent for a moment.

"Well, that doesn't count anyway. I mean, I was hurt … near death. You can't really judge a man in that condition. It'll look different."

"Different how?" She had a pretty good idea of what Sully meant, but it was exciting to see him squirm for a change.

"You know. Bigger." Sully shrugged his shoulders "Roused."

"Oh." Michaela's memory flashed back to when Sully had been injured. In a desperate attempt to give either of them hope he would regain use of his legs, she had vigorously rubbed them to keep the circulation healthy. Sully had tugged his shirt down and crossed his arms protectively over his lap. Her eyes had caught his movement and quickly realized he was trying to cover some stirring. The doctor in her had been pleased to see the reaction because it meant there was less chance of a traumatic spinal injury. But the woman in her felt a flush spread over her cheeks in embarrassment. Matthew had performed all subsequent leg massages.

"Do you think the woman in the poem sees them roused?"

"Yes, if not at first, I think when she touches them. She…" Michaela trailed off. There was no way she could bring herself to say it.

"She does," Sully looked down at the text again and repeated an earlier phrase, "They do not think whom they souse with spray."

"He's not writing about the ocean." Michaela repeated the words she'd said to Sully on a different night.

"No, he's not." Sully smiled.

"It's so shocking to read something like that. It makes me feel…"

Sully reached for her hand a gently kissed it. "I feel it too," he said.

He slid his fingers into her hair and drew her to him until their lips met. His kiss was tentative at first, asking politely for entrance to her mouth. When she opened for him, the kiss deepened.

Michaela ran her fingers through Sully's hair with one hand while her other caressed his side. She wanted him to touch her. She wanted to push their boundaries, but she feared that Sully would be too worried he'd scare her off and she wasn't bold enough to say the words.

'Touch me.'

She figured that would be all the encouragement he would need, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She was embarrassed at how badly she wanted it. She would never suggest they anticipate their wedding vows, but just a little touching — a little exploring. They were engaged. In a few short months there would be nothing holding them back. She was so desperate to feel what it would be like to let him cup her breasts, or kiss her neck… The thoughts made her unconsciously push her breasts against him as she held tight to his waist. His mouth alternated sucking kisses to her lips with gentle touches of his tongue to hers. Each flick of his tongue caused little pulses between her legs where she felt hot and slippery. She moaned into his mouth and finally she felt Sully lose some of his resolve and slide his hand upward. She pulled him closer and he got bolder. His hand slid up and cupped her, kneading gently. The feeling was unlike anything she had felt before. The heat of his hand burned through the material and warmed her whole body. When he moved to stroke her nipple lightning shot straight to her core.

"Sully…" her voice was tense with desire.

Suddenly his hand, tongue, and lips were gone.

"Sorry, Michaela. I'm sorry."

Michaela realized that he had misinterpreted the strain in her voice.

"It's alright. I liked it. I didn't mean for you to stop."

"You didn't?" He looked happy. "But still. I shouldn't push you."

"You didn't. I wanted to. I … I just couldn't find the words to ask."

"You can ask me. Nothin' is off limits. This is our private time."

"Sully, do you think … I mean, would it be too hard for you if we did a little more of that?"

Sully huffed out a laugh and smiled. "Uhhh…"

Michaela's cheeks burned with embarrassment over her unintended double entendre, but she couldn't help but smile at how cute and sheepish he looked.

"You know what I mean."

"No, it wouldn't be too hard. I can handle it."

Sully leaned in to kiss her again and Michaela immediately brought her arms up around his neck. Sully's hand went back to her breast and gently played with her nipple. Her skin puckered and stiffened under his fingers. Michaela squeezed her thighs together at the sensations he was causing. She had never felt anything so arousing.

"May I unbutton your blouse a little bit?" Sully's breathless tone cut through her haze.

"What if one of the children comes looking for us?"

"They're asleep, and it's dark except for our lamp. Plus Wolf will hear anyone stirrin' and give us warning." Sully notioned to the sleeping dog at their feet.

Michaela nodded and reached for her top button. "We are engaged." She said and shrugged her shoulders as if to reassure herself. She felt excited and absolutely sinful.

Sully stopped her hand. "No, let me."

He unbuttoned her blouse until he reached just below her breasts. Beneath the open shirt was a closed camisole covering her to just above where her cleavage started.

"May I?" He indicated to the top button on her camisole.

"Sully… I just don't want us to get carried away."

"We won't. I promise. Just this. I won't ask for anything else."

Michaela nodded and Sully continued relieving her of her camisole. His hands were a little shaky and it reminded Michaela of the first time he had worked the buttons on her shirt."

Michaela giggled and Sully looked up. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"I was just remembering the time you helped me button up my shirt. I was so worried about you seeing me in my under clothes and now look at us."

"I was just about this nervous too."

"But you've done this before. Why are you nervous."

"I ain't never done this before with you, Michaela. I'm nervous to get to touch you."

When the buttons were open enough to give him access to her breasts he spread the material on one side enough to reveal most of the round flesh and a peek at her nipple.

Michaela looked up at the tops of the trees. It was a clear, cool night. She couldn't look down or she would lose her nerve, but she also couldn't bear to look at his face.

Sully was quiet.

"They're small." Michaela said softly. She had always been self conscious about her size. She didn't know what Sully liked, but she knew most men preferred larger breasts if random conversations she had heard over the years were any indication. She hoped he wasn't disappointed.

"You're beautiful."

Sully reached under and scooped a breast out of her camisole. He kneaded the soft skin. Michaela felt dizzy with arousal. Feeling the heat of his hand on her bare skin was extraordinary. Sully worried her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Michaela was embarrassed by how erect her skin was there, but the soft growl Sully breathed into her neck showed her just how much he enjoyed her response.

"Kiss me." He requested.

They kissed while Sully continued to play with her breast. One of Michaela's hands dropped to Sully's lap and tentatively caressed the buckskin leather covering his thigh, inching a little higher to where his legs met with each sweep. She felt heavy and wet between her legs. What had started as a tingle was now sporadic pulses as her muscles clenched and released with arousal. If he took her now, her body would be ready.

Sully broke their kiss. "Don't wanna make the other one jealous," he joked as he pushed the material out of the way and turned his attention to her other breast. Michaela looked at him for the first time. Sully licked his lips and swallowed. His eyes were focused on the skin underneath his hand. She'd never seen the look on his face before and realized it was because she had never seen a fully-aroused Sully before. He looked like he wanted to devour her. She was touched by his restraint and realized that she felt completely safe in his presence like this. There was no doubt in her mind that he would respect her boundaries.

He looked up at her. "We should stop," he said.

Michaela knew he was right. She knew they couldn't keep this up without giving in to their needs. She had not waited 37 years only to lose all control the front porch with her children in the next room.

But she wasn't ready to stop just yet.

"Sully..."

"You want to see me."

Michaela nodded.

"We should…" Sully tilted his head in the direction of her open blouse and camisole. "In case one of the kids needs us, it's best only one of us has to put their clothes back on."

Michaela looked down at herself for the first time.

Sully leaned over and kissed the tops of each of her breasts. "I'm going to miss them."

Michaela giggled and moved to quickly rebutton her underclothes and shirt.

Sully's eyes never left Michaela's hands until every button was refastened.

Then she watched as he untied and pulled down the front of his pants. Michaela caught the light reflecting off a thin string of wetness bridged between where the material had been touching his skin and the tip of his penis.

"Sorry." Sully blushed as he noticed it too. He quickly took himself in his hand and wiped the tip off with the base of his other before wiping it on his leg.

Michaela was filled with wonder at how casually he handled himself in her presence. As new as this was to them, he had an easiness around her.

"It's not. I didn't." Sully stammered. "It's just pre-excitement."

"I know. I *am* a doctor." She smiled at him.

"Have you seen a man's seed before?" He seemed genuinely curious.

"Only in a glass dish." At Sully's confused face, Michaela added, "We observed spermatozoa under a microscope in medical school."

That seemed to appease him enough and Sully scooted down in his chair a bit so he was reclining. He moved his hands to rest under his thighs and Michaela was touched by how much he wanted her to know she was in control.

His eyes met her face as her eyes stared at his straining flesh. It pulsed and she looked up at him.

"He's just excited." She could see he was a bit embarrassed to be on display.

"He?" she teased.

"Well, yeah." Sully blushed.

Michaela turned her head to glance back into the homestead. No one was stirring inside.

She focused her attention back on Sully. "Is it uncomfortable? Like that?"

"No, not really. If it stays like this, without," he shrugged his shoulders instead of saying the words, "it'll ache a bit, but nothin' serious."

"Oh…" Michaela was both fascinated and frightened by the sight before her. It did, indeed, look different. Sully's penis was thick and long and jutted proudly from a patch of wiry brown hair. The shaft had a slight upward curve and the delicate skin at the tip was stretched so tightly with excitement that it appeared shiny in the dim light of their oil lamp. His testicles rested on his thighs and Michaela watched as one drew up into Sully's groin as his flesh pulsed again.

"Tell me what you're thinkin', Michaela."

Michaela swallowed. She couldn't meet his eyes. "I'm thinking that I don't know how on earth that will fit inside of me." Her face burned with embarrassment and her eyes welled. She felt so foolish to be this inexperienced when he wasn't.

Sully quickly sat up and pulled his shirt back down to cover himself. He reached for Michaela and drew her into his arms.

"It will. We'll take it real slow and I'll do my best to make sure you're ready." Sully cupped her face and pulled back to look her in the eyes. "The first time will be uncomfortable, but Michaela I will never willingly hurt you."

Michaela nodded at him and blinked.

"Will you lie back again?" She asked shyly.

"Yeah." Sully reclined and pulled his shirt up and out of the way.

His stomach was taut and lean. Michaela never really understood the appeal of seeing a man naked before, but she couldn't deny that seeing him was arousing - even if a bit laced with fear.

"Do you want to touch me?" he asked.

"May I?"

"Yeah. A little bit. Honestly, I don't know how much I can handle."

She didn't immediately reach for him, choosing instead to run her fingers through the line of hair that started at his belly button and got thicker as it trailed down. He inhaled and sucked in his belly at her touch.

"Does that tickle?" She grinned at him.

"A little, but it feels good."

She repeated the same movement again and this time her hand brushed the tip of his eager penis, a bit of wetness trailing her finger.

Michaela reached out and gently caressed his length. The delicate veins that intertwined up his length slipped beneath her fingers. Sully exhaled slowly and Michaela glanced up at him to see his eyes hooded with desire.

"Is this alright?"

"Yes. It's very alright."

She got bolder and encircled his shaft with her hand, her thumb slowly exploring the divit that divided his engorged tip.

"The skin is so soft."

"Mhmmm," was the only sound that emerged from his tight lips.

Michaela continued to look at the appendage in her hand. It didn't look quite as intimidating as it had a moment ago. She could see he was vulnerable under her touch. A fresh bead of clear fluid slipped from the tip and dripped onto her forefinger that was resting beneath the head. She nudged the wetness and used it to slicken her grip, her forefinger now gliding effortless between the ridge of his tip and the shaft.

Michaela looked up to Sully's face just in time to see him tip his head back and let his mouth go slack as a sigh of pleasure escaped his lips. Her movements were timid and inexperienced, but he seemed to be enjoying it.

Slickness spread to her other fingers and she added a stroking motion up and down.

"Am I doing it right?"

"Yeah." Sully huffed. "Any more right and I'm going to embarrass myself." His hands were tight fists at his side.

Michaela looked back down at this new extension of Sully she'd never known before. This is what he looked like fully aroused. She was still quite nervous, but she wasn't afraid of him. She was also aroused and excited over the idea of exploring more.

She continued her strokes until suddenly Sully sat up and grabbed her hand with both of his and pulled her away from him.

"We've gotta stop." He was breathing heavily and she noticed a thin sheen of sweat on his brow. Sully kissed her hands. "Michaela, bein' like this with you… it's more powerful than anything I've ever felt before. I can't wait for our wedding night."

Michaela didn't want to stop. As frightened as she was about the unknown, she wanted to explore more. Maybe just this. Maybe she could let him have the release he obviously so desperately needed.

"Sully…"

Wolf suddenly jumped up at their feet and headed to the front door just as "Ma?" drifted out the open window.

The spell was broken.

"I'll be right there, Brian!" Michaela exclaimed.

Sully quickly tugged his buckskins back into place as Michaela hurried to the door. He turned just in time to see her do the same and look back at him.

"I'll wait for you to come back." He said.

"No. It's alright. It's late. I should get to bed and … I don't think it's a good idea for us to be alone together anymore tonight.

Sully nodded and looked down at the ground.

"Goodnight, Sully."

"Goodnight." With his clothes properly back in place, Sully closed the distance between them and gave her a kiss on her cheek before he headed to the steps.

"Sully, wait." Michaela stopped at her front door. "I'm excited too … for our wedding night."

Sully smiled before he turned away and said to Wolf. "Come 'on, boy."

Chapter 4: **O HYMEN! O HYMENEE!**

Sully's tongue was deep inside Michaela's mouth. It stroked and teased and competed with his lips - each wanting more of her. She was in his lap, his erection insistent against her thigh, and his hand inched closer and closer to where she felt wet and swollen.

Their evening had started out innocently enough. Sully had brought fresh venison for dinner and they cooked and laughed together as a family. After dinner was cleaned up, they played charades with the kids before Colleen and Brian headed to bed, and Matthew headed back to town to sleep at the clinic.

Once alone, Sully suggested they sit outside together and read for a bit. Michaela knew what that meant and felt a prickle of excitement and nervousness in her belly. It had been a few weeks since they had shared Walt Whitman's poetry and spent quality time alone together. She'd hoped they would have the opportunity on Valentine's Day, but it hadn't worked out as planned. She missed this time alone at night together. It had gotten to the point where she felt a blush creep up her cheeks when she would see their empty outdoor chairs set innocently on the porch in the harsh light of the day. She'd learned quite a bit about herself sitting next to Sully hidden in the darkness.

Settled outside with steaming cups of tea and quilt to keep them warm, Sully flipped through the book until he found the page he was looking for.

"I think you'll like this one." He had a mischievous glint in his eye. He opened the book wider and made broad gestures with his arms while reading the bawdy poem.

_O HYMEN! O hymenee! why do you tantalize me thus?_

_O why sting me for a swift moment only?_

_Why can you not continue? O why do you now cease?_

_Is it because if you continued beyond the swift moment you _

_would soon certainly kill me?_

"Sully!" Michaela playfully swatted Sully on the shoulder. Her cheeks burned, but she had become much more comfortable talking about these things with him over the past few months. "Why would you pick that one?"

"It reminded me of you."

"Sully!" Michaela exclaimed again, her eyes going wide. Her excited tone made Wolf glance up to see what was going on before realizing it wasn't anything that interested him and resting his head back down.

Sully laughed and pulled his arm tighter around her. Their chairs were so close together on the porch that it was almost like they were sharing a small bench.

"Does it feel that good?" Michaela asked softly, looking up at him.

"Joining?"

"With … a virgin." Michaela looked down at her mug.

"It just feels tighter..." He trailed off.

"Oh." Michaela was quiet for a moment before adding, "Did Abigail know she wasn't your first?"

"Yeah. She didn't have all the details I told you, but she assumed." Sully picked a piece of hay off his pant leg and tossed it over the railing of the porch. He looked back at Michaela. "I was Abigail's first, but she wasn't a virgin on our wedding night."

"You anticipated your vows?" Michaela's eyes were wide as she looked at him.

"We were young and reckless. Loren didn't want me marryin' her. Abigail thought if she was no longer a virgin, Loren'd have no choice but to let us be together."

Michaela sighed. She knew Loren Bray and could only imagine how their plan had worked. "Loren must've been so mad."

"He was. Said I ruined his little girl." Sully looked up at Michaela. "I wonder if we would've handled it differently if he would have come around."

"When you and I first started courting, had you hoped I would be more open to … intimacy?" She remembered how forward Sully had been soon after they started courting.

"I knew right away when I met you you were a proper woman, but I wondered, at first, if maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe you'd had a lover. Or maybe you and your fiance had anticipated your vows. I wondered if you came to Colorado Springs to leave a reputation behind."

Michaela looked at him, a bit amused that Sully could have ever had that notion of her. She never before considered allowing herself to experience any of what she and Sully had explored outside of marriage. The idea that he thought she could possibly be an experienced woman made her feel excited, as silly as it was.

"When did you realize I wasn't experienced?"

"Soon as we started courtin' and you were nervous to be alone with me. Nervous about kissin' me. I figured then you were innocent for sure." Sully placed a light kiss on her cheek.

"I'm sorry."

"Ain't nothin' to be sorry for."

"It was all just so new to me." She turned to face him.

"You and David?"

"No." Michaela laughed at the suggestion. "Only kisses, and only in public. I'd never even felt … a tongue before yours."

Sully smiled. "You seemed to know what to do."

Michaela blushed.

"Michaela, I would have never pushed you to do anythin' you didn't want to. I just wanted to hold you, kiss you... maybe sneak off into the barn and touch a little." Sully gave her a smile.

"I like what we've done so far."

"Me too."

"I thought about giving myself to you once … outside of marriage."

"When?" Once again, it looked like she'd managed to shock him a little bit.

"After you rescued me … from the dog soldiers."

Sully looked down.

"You asked me if they had hurt me."

He looked back up at her with alarm, and Michaela realized he misunderstood.

"They hadn't. I told you the truth. But One Eye tried." Michaela paused to take a breath, the memories of that night filling her with fear. "And I realized how close I had come to having it taken from me by force, and we were still in so much danger. I'd waited all these years to save myself for my husband, for you, and it could have been all for nothing. And I thought, 'What am I waiting for?'"

"I'm glad you didn't follow through. I wouldn't have been strong enough to say no."

"I would have never been forward enough to ask."

"But after? When we got home … you didn't feel the same?"

"No, once we were home and out of danger, I lost my fearlessness of that time."

"I'm glad we've waited."

"I am too. Although, it's getting more difficult."

He smiled and took her hand before pulling her to him for a kiss.

The kiss deepened and Sully asked, "You wanna sneak into the barn with me for a little bit?"

"But we won't be able to hear Brian or Colleen if they need me." She said innocently.

"Were you actually going to consider it otherwise? My my, Michaela Quinn … Walt Whitman has corrupted you."

"Stop it. I knew you were kidding."

He kissed her again and Michaela's hand drifted to where his shirt collar was open enough to reveal his deeply tanned chest peppered with golden hair. As their kiss deepened, she touched his skin there before sliding her hand into the shirt as much as the vee-neck would allow.

Without breaking their kiss, Sully leaned back enough to pull his shirt tails out of his pants and lift the shirt away from his body. He took Michaela's hand and brought it up and under the shirt.

Michaela smiled into his mouth and continued her exploration, the soft cotton of his shirt caressing the back of her hand while her hand caressed his chest. His skin was warm, yet she felt gooseflesh wherever her fingers traced. She slipped her fingers over a nipple and felt the puckered skin.

"Are they sensitive?" She asked.

"Not as sensitive as yours, but it feels good. Anywhere you hands touch me feels good, Michaela."

Michaela could see the thick outline that proved he was indeed enjoying her touch.

"Do you want me to touch you again? The way I did last time?" She surprised even herself with the question. Last time it had been in exploration. To do it again tonight would be with purpose - specifically to give him pleasure. Michaela didn't know if she wanted him to say yes or no.

"No, not tonight." Sully looked down at himself with a slight blush. "If we do that again I'm not sure I can keep myself from spilling in your hand."

Michaela exhaled a quick, heavy breath at his words. She felt the now familiar clench deep in her belly that signaled how aroused he was making her. The idea that she could have so much power over him - it was intoxicating. She should get up. She should go inside. But nothing less than a fire at her feet would make her tear herself away from him right now.

"But, you could sit in my lap again." He continued. "That feels good too, and it's a little less dangerous."

"Alright." Michaela slid her legs over his and let him pull her onto his lap into an embrace. Sully's shirt was pulled up high under his armpits to allow her hand to still have access to his chest.

Sully dipped his head to kiss her neck. He trailed kisses to the tops of her breasts and on the way back up instead of kissing he licked a wet trail to her earlobe.

Michaela pursed her lips together to keep from groaning at the sensation.

Her attention had been so focused on what he was doing to her neck, that she hadn't realized until now that his hand was sliding up under her skirts. She felt him finger the delicate elastic bands of her underpants just above her knee.

She knew if he was bold enough to reach her center he wouldn't find skin. Since she had been at home most of the day her bloomers didn't have the opening between her legs needed to make relieving herself easier when out and about. Part of her hoped he would try to touch her, and part of her didn't how she would react if he did. She was finding it increasingly difficult to control herself in his presence.

And so that was how they'd gotten to this point: His tongue in her mouth, his erection pressing against her bottom, and his hand making a slow journey up between her legs.

Sully was bold and just moments later she felt his hand slide against her.

His touch wasn't focused on one particular spot, but the dull pressure on every spot ratched up Michaela's arousal. She felt a wave of embarrassment knowing he may be able to feel how damp her underclothes must be by now.

She knew she needed to stop him in a minute, but she just didn't want this feeling to end for a little longer.

She squirmed in his lap a bit to press against his erection, but it also brought Michaela more firmly into his hand. He started sliding the side of his index finger up and down against her seam. She wasn't entirely familiar with recognizing her body's reactions, but she felt the beginning of a release building and wondered if Sully was feeling the same. They undulated against each other in a lazy rhythm, but the feelings it was stirring were anything but lazy. The blood rushed through her body to pulse and pound between her legs. She felt dizzy.

She tightened her arms around his neck and pulled him more closely to her. She needed to feel more of his skin. She needed to feel more of his body against hers. She needed something to ease the ache deep in her belly.

"Sully, we need to stop." Michaela didn't recognize her own voice whispering the words into his mouth.

"I know." Sully sighed heavily and rested his forehead against hers.

"I'm losing control."

"I want you so badly."

"Sully, we can't…"

"I know." he paused as he kissed her one more time. "Michaela, I would never jeopardize your virginity before our weddin' night, but I can make you l feel so good right now if ya let me. I won't take anything for myself — just you."

"Sully, no. I am tempted, but no. Not until we are married."

At the sound of her saying no, Sully pulled his hand away from between Michaela's legs and slid her just a fraction away from him on his lap.

"Of course. Let me just cool down for a moment." He rubbed his forehead against hers and took some steady breaths in and out.

"Sully?" Her voice was soft.

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we should read any more poetry together until after we are married."

Sully laughed softly. "I think you're right."

"And I think maybe we should limit the amount of time we are alone together, especially after dark."

"Ya' think the Reverend is free tomorrow for a wedding?"

"Sully!"

He laughed again.

They picked up their discarded tea cups and quietly brought them back into her homestead to clean up, shyly glancing at each other from time to time.

"It's only another couple of months, Sully. Then there won't be anything holding us back." Michaela sounded confident, yet she wondered if her own fears would hold her back from truly letting herself go.

"I can't wait." Sully pulled her to him again and kissed her. He started trailing kisses down her neck when Michaela pushed on his chest, and glanced towards where the children were sleeping behind the curtain partition.

"Sully…"

"I know. I know."

"Goodnight."

"'Night. Sweet dreams." He winked.

Michaela blushed.

"Come on, boy." Sully called to Wolf. He turned and gave Michaela one more quick kiss on the cheek before slipping out the front door.

****

**Chapter 5: Song of the Open Road**

"And darker." Michaela said as she touched his face before leaning in for another kiss.

The kiss deepened and Sully leaned back and pulled her down onto the bed with him. His fingers slipped between the open laces at her back and were met with skin instead of corset.

He pulled back and Michaela eagerly followed, searching for his lips. Sully smiled.

He gave her what she wanted while he began to tug her dress down her shoulders.

As more of her sun-kissed skin was revealed he said, "Michaela, don't tell me you've been naked underneath this dress all day."

She giggled. "No, only the last hour. Marjorie and Dorothy snuck me into the clinic and made me take off the corset." Michaela looked up at him. "Marjorie said you'd waited long enough."

"Remind me to thank them when we get home."

Michaela giggled. "Don't you dare!"

Sully leaned in for another kiss as he pulled the front of her dress down enough to peek at her wine-colored nipples. He nuzzled the tops of her breasts before abruptly standing up and pulling off his wedding shirt.

At Michaela's questioning look he explained. "I don't want you feel self conscious." He tossed the shirt aside and moved to meet her back on the bed.

With the shirt no longer hiding him, Michaela could clearly see the outline of how excited he was already. She remembered the night she saw him and touched him in innocent exploration. A shiver of excitement laced with fear danced up her back. They had been a bit bold in their exploration of each other before marriage. On nights when they would read Walt Whitman's poetry and talk, they often had let their desires take over. She'd always felt a little embarrassed the next morning when she remembered how forward she'd been the night before. But once she was in Sully's arms again in the darkness, her bravery would return. When it became apparent that their familiarity with each other was escalating to a dangerous point, they had decided to put their poetry reading on hold until after the wedding. Their limited alone time had allowed Michaela's fears of the unknown creep back in. Tonight there was nothing holding them back. They were now husband and wife.

Sully resumed kissing her neck and she closed her eyes. She felt the material of her dress sliding further down her skin and knew her breasts must be bared to him by now. He kissed his way back up to her lips and pulled her in close. She felt her nipples against his chest, the delicate skin tickled by the soft covering of chest hair. Never had she been this close to a man. The intimacy overtook her and she deepened their kiss, the pulse between her legs strengthening.

Michaela caressed Sully arms, up to his biceps and over his shoulders. She needed to touch him. As nervous as she was, he was the one person who could make her feel at ease. He shivered and melted a little closer into her. Sully pulled from their kiss and looked into her eyes.

"You're so beautiful." Sully's eyes travelled from her face to her breasts and just below where her dressed was bunched. He'd seen her breasts once before, but the look on his face was as if it was the first time again.

Sully trailed a hand down and reached for the material at her waist. "Lift your hips for me." It was a polite request. Michaela lifted and Sully slid the dress down in one sweep.

Seeing her cotton white pantalettes, Sully looked up and smiled, "They didn't make you take off your bloomers too?"

Michaela blushed. "Marjorie tried, but I said no." She giggled.

Sully smiled and nuzzled her neck. His breath was warm against her neck and it sent a shiver through her. He sat up and slid down her body to remove her boots. He massaged each foot briefly, rubbing her arch and warming her toes. Once her feet were freed of her boots, he moved back up her body to kiss her. He didn't stay there long though, his exploration only just beginning. He nipped and licked his way back down to her breasts, kissing the soft skin around each nipple. Michaela felt him everywhere. His lips on her skin, the slight scratch of his evening stubble grazing a nipple, and his soft hair tickling a trailing path behind him. Her tight nipples ached for him to take one in his mouth. As if he could read her thoughts, he finally did. Michaela inhaled and arched against him. She rubbed her thighs together to ease the ache between them.

Once Sully had thoroughly explored her breasts, he licked a path back up to her mouth, leaving her pebbled nipples wet and chilled by the cool air around them. His kisses now were different. He devoured her. His tongue was demanding, and for the first time he shamelessly rubbed his erection against her thigh.

Sully's hand moved to the drawstring at her waist and gave her a questioning look, the rocking of the train made his hand waver where it hovered above the delicate bow tie.

Feeling a bit bold, Michaela nodded and reached down to undo the tie herself. She looked into Sully's eyes as the thin loops dropped from their bow. She again lifted for him so he could slide the material down her legs. She watched as his gaze landed on the thatch of hair between her legs. He tossed her pantalettes onto the floor without looking away. She wondered what he could be thinking. He finally trailed his gaze back up to her face, lingering over her stomach and breasts. His eyes were hooded in a way that made Michaela excited and uneasy. He looked so hungry.

"Michaela, you are so beautiful."

She didn't know what to say. Instead of saying anything, she pulled him in for a kiss.

She expected him to remove her stockings, but he made no move to take them off and she didn't say anything. It felt comforting to have some clothing still on.

With his lips and tongue entertaining her mouth, his hand slid up between her thighs to graze against her sex. His fingers teased and nudged the delicate flesh hidden beneath the hair. He was still gentle with her, but his touches were becoming more insistent.

Sully touched a particularly sensitive spot and Michaela gasped as a spark of electricity warmed her lower half. He growled in her ear at the sound of her enjoying his touch.

Michaela was still nervous, but she was also very ready to move to the next step. She wanted to feel what this was all about. What made men do just about anything to get it, and women to have such vastly different views of it. She wanted to know him in the way other women had before her.

"Sully…"

It was all the invitation he needed. Sully stood quickly and shucked off his tuxedo pants, shoes and stockings. His erection bobbed excitedly with his movements.

Michaela looked at him. She'd seen him shirtless before, and had even seen and held his erection, but to see him completely naked like this and aroused was a sight. His tan shoulders were broad and his chest was covered with a dusting of hair. His chest veed into a tone waist and hips. His penis stood out in search of her and Michaela nearly chuckled remembering Dorothy had once remarked that Michaela was his true North. It certainly appeared that way at the moment.

He climbed back up her body and kissed her while he took himself in his hand to find her entrance. He nudged forward and Michaela felt resistance. Her heart pounded and she was a storm of emotions. The throb between her legs needed something to ease the ache, but she feared this was going to bring more pain than pleasure and that fear made her tense up.

Her fears were confirmed as she felt him push in, and the skin at her opening burned from the pressure.

"Ya' alright?" His voice was tight.

"Yes … it hurts a little." That wasn't entirely the truth. It hurt a lot, but she didn't want him to stop.

Sully pulled back.

"Why'd you stop?" She didn't mean for it to sound as breathless as it came out.

"Because I'm hurting you." Sully stated, as if she should already know the answer.

Michaela felt panic rise in her chest, and she reached for him. This was exactly what she had been fretting about.

"Please, don't stop. I'm alright. We just need to get through the first couple of times."

"We will. But that don't mean I shouldn't do my best to make sure you're ready."

Sully tenderly reached between her legs again and was greeted with slick heat. He exhaled shakily as he kissed her.

"I feel ready." Michaela said as they broke their kiss. Her heart was pounding with a mix of fear and arousal.

Suddenly, Sully hopped off the bed and over to their luggage. He quickly retrieved a small glass bottle and returned to the bed.

"Let me try somethin'." Sully poured a generous amount of the liquid into his palm and rubbed it onto himself, paying extra attention to the tip.

"What is that?" Michaela watched him coat his thick erection, and it struck her again that they were actually about to do this.

"Some sweet almond oil." He blushed under Michaela's gaze as he handled himself. "You're wet, but my skin's mostly dry. This will just help ease the way."

Sully positioned himself again. This time she felt slickness as he nudged her.

"Relax your muscles a bit." He lightly rubbed his nose against hers.

Michaela pushed out a breath and visibly relaxed her shoulders.

Sully grinned. "Not those muscles." He subtly nodded to look down where they were almost joined.

"Oh." Michaela blushed. She again exhaled and tried to relax her pelvis as much as possible.

"That's it." Sully smiled and kissed her again as he gently pushed into her. This time Michaela's body gave way and Sully slipped inside a fraction.

He pulled back a bit before pushing inside again, making progress every time. It was still uncomfortable, but didn't sting as much as it did the first time he tried.

"Are you alright?" Sully's voice was thin and tense.

Michaela nodded.

Sully groaned and pushed forward forcefully to join them fully.

Michaela cried out.

"That's it. That's the worst of it. I'm inside you." He kissed her forehead and nuzzled her cheek. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." She was breathless. It hurt, but she didn't want him to stop again.

"Oh my God, Michaela." Sully dropped his head to rest in the crook of her neck.

Michaela wasn't sure what she should do. She was trying to stay relaxed, but she felt stretched and bare. Tears stung her eyes, but she wasn't upset. She felt overwhelmed. She caressed his arms to reassure him and herself that she was alright.

"Can I move?"

"Yes."

Sully began shallow thrusts into her. He closed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder. Michaela ran her fingers up his neck and through his hair causing him to groan.

Each movement was less uncomfortable then the last. What had started as overwhelming pressure was now a pleasant tingly sensation every time he thrust forward.

Sully reached down and grabbed her calf. "Lift your legs up, hook 'em around my waist. It'll feel better."

Michaela did what he said and the new position felt even more intimate. Her legs were completely spread around him. They hadn't made it under the covers so there was nothing to hide her. She was on display for him and he appeared to be enjoying it. Sully had been right. The position did feel better. There was still some pain, but also an intense, fleeting pleasure every time his thrust bottomed out inside her. She wrapped her arms around him and held on while they kissed.

Sully abruptly stopped and extended his arms to push himself up above her. "I need to slow down."

Michaela nodded up at him, noticing a thin gleam of sweat across his forehead. She wanted him to feel the most pleasure as possible, but she also wouldn't mind if it was over soon.

Balancing on one elbow, Sully snaked a hand between their bodies. His thumb sought out the tight knot of nerves above her opening.

It felt good. Michaela gasped at the sensation and her muscles clamped down around him.

"Oh, oh, Michaela." Sully lurched forward and thrust erratically a few more times before his whole body began to shudder. His eyes tightly shut and he made a guttural sound she had never heard from him before. He was so lost in his pleasure she was sure if she called his name, or tried to get his attention, he wouldn't hear her. It was so primal. She'd never seen anything like it before.

"Unnnnnhhhhh." His grunts came to an end and he panted heavily above her.

"Sorry." He was breathless. "I knew I wasn't gonna last long. I've been wanting to do this with you since the day I met you." He smiled and kissed her deeply. She ran her fingers through his hair to soothe him. She felt so protective of him.

The experience hadn't been filled with pleasure like Sully had suggested it would be, but it had been intimate and loving, albeit a bit startling at the end. She could do this for him whenever he asked.

Sully gently pulled out and Michaela felt a thick trickle between her legs - the first tangible evidence that she was no longer a virgin.

"Oh!" Michaela quickly rolled to her side to try and keep it from getting on the quilt covering their bed.

Sully grabbed her discarded pantalettes from the floor and pressed them against her.

"I got it. I don't think we got anything on the bed." Sully looked at the material in his hand. "There's a bit of blood on your bloomers."

"That's to be expected. I just don't want to ruin the quilt. And I don't want anyone to see it if they come to collect our furniture."

"Let's get under the covers." Sully suggested as he moved to pull back the quilt. They both crawled under the soft sheets, their bodies close but not touching. Michaela felt incredibly connected to him, yet it was hard to become comfortable being naked so soon.

"Did it hurt?" Sully asked as he rolled towards her propped himself up on one elbow.

"A bit, in the beginning. Then it felt nice."

"Nice."

"Yes."

Sully drew her into his arms and Michaela laid her head on his chest. This was nice too. It felt good to be this close to him. She liked knowing that she had pleased him and he was happy. They probably still had another couple of hours until they got to Denver. She was ready to settle in for a nap when she felt his finger under her chin to lift her lips to his.

"Let me give you pleasure." Sully said when he broke the kiss.

Michaela looked down at his chest, her fingers stroking the soft hair there.

"Michaela, lovin' ain't over until we've both felt pleasure."

"I'm alright. I enjoyed the intimacy, and your pleasure is all that's needed for procreation."

"The Cheyenne believe the woman's pleasure is what draws the seed up inside of her."

Michaela was curious to experience this with him, but she couldn't imagine being as open in front of Sully as he had just been with her.

"Do you still feel roused?" He whispered it in her ear.

"I do." She couldn't deny that her body was aching to feel what he had felt. He seemed so relaxed and sated now. She still felt swollen and her nipples were tight with longing to be touched.

"Let me. Please." It was a quiet request.

Michaela nodded and Sully immediately took her lips again for a kiss. He retrieved the small bottle of oil and shook a few drops into his palm. He rubbed it through his fingers before snaking his hand under the covers and between her legs.

He cupped her sex in his slippery hand and Michaela squirmed. Her skin was tender, but it still felt so good. The sensitive tip of her clitoris tingled every time Sully's oil-covered fingers swiped over it. His lips never left hers as his hand slipped lower and his middle fingers slide inside.

Michaela let out a small moan and Sully smiled against her lips. His finger gently probed in and out, paying special attention to a particular area inside of her. The intense feeling she felt during intercourse was back, but this time the feeling wasn't quite as fleeting. His touch was much more accurate and Michaela felt a burning sensation build deep inside of her.

Sully's lips left her mouth to lick down her neck and envelop a nipple. When before he had nipped and licked, this time he sucked her deep into his mouth. The double sensations were overwhelming her, and to her slight embarrassment, she realized she was rocking her hips against his finger to increase the pressure of every thrust.

The heat between her legs intensified and spread through her entire pelvis. She thought maybe she was close. She'd felt pleasure before, but never like this. The feeling was deep and it was almost torture to not let it break. She was on the edge but not quite able to fall.

"Ohh…" Michaela gasped.

"It's just us, Michaela. No one'll ever see you like this but me. Share it with me. Let me hear you." He licked her bottom lip and pushed inside to play with her tongue.

At that moment, Sully's slick thumb rubbed against her clitoris and the dam broke. She tore her mouth away from his and cried out.

"Oh, Sully… ahhh…"

She no longer had any control. It felt good to be spread out before him. It felt good to grind her hips against him. It felt good to cry out. It all felt so damn good. She felt her internal muscles tighten to an impossible peak until they released in a glorious flood of pleasure. Her body convulsed against his as wave after wave rolled through her.

As the pleasure subsided, Michaela tried to slow her heavy breathing and opened her eyes to see Sully staring back at her.

He smiled, "Now I'm your husband."

"Sully, I…" Tears stung her eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"I love you so much." She didn't know what else to say. She didn't know how to explain what she was feeling. She was overwhelmed. She was teary. She honestly couldn't remember ever feeling so connected to someone.

"I love you too. Thank you for lettin' me show you. And thank you for showin' me your pleasure."

They laid in contented silence for a few moments until Michaela spoke again.

"Sully?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to use the privy." She looked up at him.

"Alright, I'm sure there is a pot under the bed. I'll get it." Sully got out of bed, completely unfazed by his own nudity, and crouched down to reach under the bed for the bowl and lid.

"Here you go." He held the pot out for her to take it.

Michaela just stared at it.

"What's wrong?" Sully looked confused.

"Will you go wait out on the deck?"

"Are you serious? Michaela, we just-"

"I know, but this is different."

"I'll turn my back."

"I won't be able to go." Michaela paused. When she realized that wasn't enough of a reason for him to leave, she added, "I need to make sure the urethra is clear of any bacteria or I could get an infection."

Sully held up his hand and sighed. "Alright, alright," He reached for his tuxedo pants and started to slide them on, "but you're gonna to have to get over this, Michaela. I ain't leaving our bedroom every time you get up in the middle of the night." Sully smiled at her and she knew he wasn't really cross with her.

Sully stepped outside, and Michaela quickly used the chamber pot and replaced it underneath the bed.

She put on her robe and went to the door to open it enough to peak her head out.

"I'm finished."

The sun was beginning to set and Sully's skin looked golden in the light, his cheeks tinged with the slightest flush of a satisfied man.

"Come here." He pulled Michaela to him and they took in the hues of red and orange that illuminated the evening sky. Michaela thought back to when they were first courting and Sully had taken her to watch a sunset from one of his favorite spots. They had come so far since then.

Sully turned to lead her back into their makeshift honeymoon suite. Michaela stopped in the doorway, "Do you need to use the…"

Sully looked a bit sheepish and said, "Uh, no. I took advantage of being out on the deck."

"Oh." She giggled. It was going to take some time to get used to living with a man such as Sully.

They walked back to the bed and Sully took his pants off to climb back under the covers, again seemingly not at all embarrassed to be in the all together in her presence. Michaela, not yet as comfortable, sat down with her back to him and slipped off her robe before quickly getting under the quilt. It was silly, she knew. He had seen her naked and explored most of her body already, but to stand in front of a man on display - that she wasn't ready for.

"Are you tired?" She asked once she had settled into his side. Dorothy had explained that men usually fall asleep almost immediately after their release. Sully had been awake for much longer than that.

"A little. Are you? We have another couple of hours before we reach Denver. We could take a short nap."

"That sounds nice. It's been a long day."

"It was a wonderful day. The best of my entire life so far."

Michaela didn't comment. Sully had been married before, so for him to say that meant so much. She leaned up and kissed his lips softly.

"Do you feel different?" Sully's question was quiet.

"I do." Michaela's voice was a bit excited. "I do feel different - like I'm no longer on the outside looking in. I know what it is to be a wife in this way now."

"Did our nights before the wedding help?" He kissed her temple.

"They did, though it's been awhile. I was still so nervous. Dorothy tried to make me feel better."

"Yeah? What'd she say?" Sully seemed amused that she would ask Dorothy for advice.

"She said it was nothing to fret over. She said you would know what to do."

"But you're a doctor. You know how babies are made. You'd already knew what to do."

"I knew the mechanics, of course, but there is something about sharing this with someone." She tried to explain. "I'm a guarded person. It's not easy for me to let go like this. It scares me."

"Thank you for bein' brave and sharin' yourself with me." Sully sat up a bit to peer down at her. "Michaela, bein' able to touch you like this - see you. I've been dreamin' about it for a long time."

"Was it as good as you hoped?" Michaela thought Sully enjoyed it. It certainly sounded like he'd enjoyed it, but suddenly she was struck with a small pang of insecurity when she remembered how she had just laid there and held on.

"Better." He said without hesitation. "And I promise, next time it won't be so short."

"Mmhm." Michaela wasn't sure what she thought about it lasting longer.

Sully rubbed her arm and planted a kiss on her forehead. "If I ever do anything that doesn't feel good I want you to tell me. Don't be afraid." He paused. "And if there is anythin' that would feel better if I did it differently, I want you to tell me that too. You won't hurt my feelings."

Michaela knew she would feel comfortable telling Sully if something hurt, or didn't feel right, but she couldn't imagine telling him what would feel better.

"What about me? If I do something you don't like, or that I could do better, will you tell me too?"

Sully smiled. "I don't imagine you ever doing anythin' I don't like, but I promise too. I'll tell ya. We're getting to know each other this way. It's important we talk to each other."

Michaela was touched by his care and willingness to make her happy. She'd known Sully was a special man for awhile, but he was an even more special husband. She felt lucky he was hers.

"I love you." She kissed him.

"I love you too."

After a short nap, they dressed and repacked to deboard the train. Michaela busied herself with raising the blinds of each train window back to its original position.

"What are you doin'?" Sully asked with a smile.

"I'm raising the blinds." Michaela knew he was going to tease her.

"Why? It's dark now."

"Because, I don't want John to know we lowered them. It's embarrassing." She dipped her head and turned from him, pretending to dust off imaginary lint from one of their upholstered chairs.

"Michaela, he knows what we did. Everyone at the wedding party knows what we did. Our son arranged for our bed to be here."

Her cheeks burned. "I know."

"Would you rather he think we gave the wildlife a peep show along the way?"

"Sully!" Michaela laughed. "Just humor me. Maybe he'll think we talked - perhaps read a little."

"No one who saw you in that dress today thinks I got on this train and agreed to talk ... or read - not even Whitman…" Sully leaned over and kissed one of her flushed cheeks.

The train was slowing, and Sully knew it was the telltale sign they were about to pull into the station.

"Speaking of…" He reached down and rummaged through his luggage once again. He pulled out a worn copy of Walt Whitman's _Leaves of Grass_ and motioned for Michaela to sit next to him on the remade bed.

He turned to the page he was looking for.

"I give you my hand." Sully recited, "I give you my love more precious than money."

The train's whistle sounded to alert the Denver station they were approaching.

"I give you myself, before preaching or law;" Sully continued, "Will you give me yourself?  
Will you come travel with me? Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?"

The train slowed to a stop.

"I will." Michaela replied and sealed it with a kiss.

The next morning, Sully awoke before Michaela. He got up to use the indoor washroom connected to their room, and quickly cleaned his teeth and washed his face before getting back into bed.

He nuzzled the side of her face and kissed her gently. Michaela opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Good morning, wife." He kissed her lips.

"Good morning, husband." The word still sounded so new to her. Husband. She had a husband now.

The night before, it had been late when they checked into the room. They'd ordered a small snack of cold meats and cheese, and eaten it all wearing only their night clothes. They hadn't made love again. When Sully stripped down and got into bed, Michaela expected him to ask, but he just took her in his arms and settled in to sleep.

Now, however, it appeared her husband wanted to start his morning off with more than just coffee and breakfast.

"Are you too sore, or do you think…"

"I think…" Michaela kissed his nose. "just give me a moment." She got out of bed and took one of her bags into the washroom.

When she returned a few minutes later, she was wearing a nightgown he'd never seen before. This wasn't the type of nightgown she would've worn around the children. This was for a husband's eyes.

"You look beautiful."

"Do you like it?"

"Come here."

Sully took her in his arms and kissed her deeply. His hands explored the soft silky material and her warm skin underneath. She felt her nipples slide across his chest with only the thin layer between them. It was electric.

He flipped her onto her back and kissed his way down her neck. He spread her legs and settled himself between them, rubbing his erection against her through the nightgown.

"Does that feel good?" He licked his lips while staring into her eyes.

Michaela nodded shyly, but didn't look away.

He kissed her again and continued the rhythm. Suddenly he shifted a bit and connected more fully against her. She gasped and arched her back.

"Ohhh, so that's the spot." Sully teased. "Don't feel shy Michaela, move me where you need it."

Michaela tentatively reached down between them. Sully pulled up the nightgown so it bunched around her waist, and his touch rubbed against her bare skin. This time when he moved against her again, her hand guided him so his shaft rubbed the most sensitive part of her.

He growled into her ear, and rocked his hips. "Michaela, you have no idea what you do to me."

She had an idea, because he was doing it to her right now. She felt dizzy with arousal. There was a tightening deep inside her belly and she knew her body was getting close to that blissful release of sensations. Now that she'd felt it with him once, she wanted to feel it again. It was better with him. Not only did pleasure radiate through her body, but she felt it spread through her heart as well. She felt close to him — bonded.

Sully nuzzled her breasts through the silky fabric of her gown, licking around each nipple until the material was wet and sticking to her.

As her whimpers and moans became stronger, Sully stopped.

"Not yet." He said with a smile.

She wanted him to continue, but she wasn't bold enough to demand it.

He lifted up to sit on his knees and positioned himself between her legs. He rubbed the tip of his erection around her slippery opening. She wondered if he would need the sweet almond oil again, when he nudged forward, and this time slipped easily inside.

Sully continued to work his hips back and forth slowly until he was buried to the hilt inside of her. She missed the pleasure of what he had been doing before, but at least there was no pain this time.

She didn't understand why Sully had stopped, but he'd made it clear he was ready for his pleasure. It didn't seem like him to be that way, but as well as she felt she knew Sully, she was only just getting to know this side of him. She hoped he wouldn't forget afterwards. She didn't think he would. She was embarrassed over how much she wanted it.

She looked up at him and teased his sides to bring him down for a kiss. He lead the kiss with his tongue, it searched out hers and teased and played with it. He was making love to her mouth.

He abruptly sat back on his heels and pulled her open thighs closer against his which deepened his penetration. In this position, he was able to support all of his weight and have his hands free to explore. He stared at her while he took his thumb into his mouth to wet it. He never broke eye contact as he brought it down between her legs in search of the spot that made her gasp.

"Where was that spot again?" Where he touched was not it. "Hmmm… was it here?" Again, not the spot.

"Sully…" Her voice commanded a warning, though she had no idea what she could be warning him about. She was putty in his hands.

"Oh, no, you're right. It was here." He touched the correct spot with his still wet thumb. Michaela permitted a small moan to escape her lips as she grasped at his spread thighs beneath her own. Sully was too far away to kiss, but she needed to touch him anyway she could.

"God, I love watching you react to me."

"I thought you wanted … you know … first." She felt silly bringing it up.

"What? No, I just want to be inside you when it happens. I want to feel you around me."

Feeling a surge of arousal, Michaela reached for him, "Kiss me, please."

Sully happily granted her request. He continued his slow, deep thrusts while playing with her. Between his fingers slipping back and forth, and the feel of his thickness deep inside of her, the ache in her belly started anew. This time, he didn't stop and soon Michaela was moaning and writhing with the need for the pleasure to break. Sully hastened his rhythm and Michaela was peripherally aware the bed was making a soft thumping noise against the wall - though she was too far gone to care.

"You feel so good… I'm so close."

The sound of his voice, and his hot breath against her neck was too much. She broke apart and cried out. Spasms of pleasure coursed through her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck to get as close to him as possible.

Sully thrust a few more times and then followed her with a bellow in her ear, his body shuddering in her arms. This time, though, she didn't find his orgasm quite as startling - perhaps because she was still on the tailend of her own, or because she now understood the pleasure he was feeling.

When he quieted and looked at her, they kissed one last time before he left her body and laid next to her to draw her into an embrace.

"That was…" Michaela trailed off.

"Nice?" Sully replied.

Michaela looked up at him. "Wonderful."

Sully smiled. "I knew it would be this way between us, Michaela."

She nodded.

"Come on, let's get up and explore Denver. I want to come back tonight and see if we can get to 'amazing' or 'phenomenal.'"

Michaela laughed and gave him one last kiss.

The End


End file.
